by Jessie Richards, PhD (FADV Co-Founder and Advisory Director)

I’m going to get real for a minute, and I need you all to stick with me because our silence around this issue is literally killing people. In Utah, 1 in 3 women will experience some form of domestic violence this year. Also, in Utah, approximately 40 percent of adult homicides are related to domestic violence. And the Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports that in lost productivity alone, domestic violence costs businesses more than $729 million a year, often climbing higher than $4 billion when medical and mental health care costs are included.
 
Despite the impact of domestic violence on the population, workplace cultures, and business profitability, very few workplaces have programs in place to support people in unsafe relationships. But Utah can be the state to change all that. Utah is in a unique position to be a national leader on this issue. Our philanthropic culture, our start-up mania, and our focus on families are all factors contributing to a statewide movement by Utah businesses to alleviate burdens and barriers for victims/survivors and to support employees in these situations.

It might be easy to dismiss this information as a private matter. Or to see this crisis as a problem that is “not my problem.” I get it. The thought of 1 in 3 women experiencing violence in their own home and by the person they love is an ugly truth to confront. What if I told you that last year 80 Utah children witnessed the murder or attempted murder of their mother? Oh, and have I mentioned that Utah is above the national average in incidents of domestic violence? 86 percent of Utah women believe domestic violence is a problem in their community, and 63 percent believe the violence is increasing.
 
Yes, these stats are shocking, but what often gets forgotten in statistics about family violence is the reality of its prevalence. Domestic violence occurs at the same rates across all sectors of society -- meaning, family violence is occurring on your street, in your neighborhood, in your workforce, and among your colleagues. Domestic violence is a public health crisis that contributes to homelessness, poverty, healthcare costs, and worker absenteeism.
 
Let’s define some terms. “Domestic violence” and “intimate partner violence” are often used interchangeably. Both terms refer to the systematic abuse of one partner by another in a pattern of behavior designed to control. And domestic violence is not only or even always physical – the term includes emotional control, verbal abuse, financial control or abuse, and sexual coercion. This behavior might look different within various relationships, but the patterns of power and control are often eerily similar. (See the below infographic for signs and types of domestic violence.) Domestic violence also impacts men and non-binary people and also occurs within our LGBTQ+ communities as well. 

Think about all the struggles employees in Utah businesses often go through –housing and childcare costs, mental health crises, regular ol’ job stress, etc. Now, layer on top of those stressors a volatile, controlling, emotionally abusive partner. How might this impact one’s ability to perform at work? The answer is “negatively” – this will negatively impact one’s ability to perform at work.
 
A study by the Family Violence Prevention Fund found that 60 percent of victims reported being late for work or leaving work early due to domestic violence issues. And approximately 85 percent of victims report being absent from work due to that abuse. Absence from work is often related to injuries, shame, depression, or fearing for one’s own safety or their children’s safety. Often, victims/survivors have doctors’ appointments to attend, protective orders to file, or child custody hearings. They might also have meetings with law enforcement or case managers. And in some cases, an abuser might directly be prohibiting the victim/survivor from going to work. Furthermore, approximately 75% of domestic violence victims face harassment from intimate partners while they are at work.  
 
Essentially, intimate partner violence impacts more than the perpetrator and the victim. The violence often spills into the workplace, impacting the entire workforce. Nationally, 78 percent of women killed in the workplace are murdered by intimate partners. And the violence isn’t lessened after a victim/survivor leaves the relationship. In fact, the most dangerous time for any victim/survivor is the days and weeks after leaving. It is during this risky timeframe that survivors are 20 times more likely to be victims of workplace violence (as is everyone else in the building).
 
In addition to these human impacts, economic costs of intimate partner violence are also staggering: The cost of intimate partner violence exceeds $8.3 billion per year. A company’s medical-related costs are also increased—higher employee benefit costs, increased insurance premiums, and increased sick leave expenses are often the consequences of domestic. And $1,775 more is spent on each victim of domestic violence annually.

​I hope you’re still with me because, Utah, we have some serious work to do. But here’s the good news: Utah’s business leaders are already major catalysts for positive change in our state, and they can lead on this issue also. Managers do not have to be experts on this topic – our state domestic violence coalition (www.udvc.org) along with the Family Justice Center (www.ywcautah.org) have an abundance of resources to support businesses of all sizes.
 
And just to get you started, below are 10 programmatic ideas that Utah businesses can implement to positively impact women and children in our state. Many of these suggestions can be implemented today:

FADV's R.E.A.C.H. (Response, Empower, Advocate, Connect, Help) professional development program enables businesses to better understand intimate partner violence and better support their employees. If you or your organization is interested in learning more about REACH, connect with us! 

By Brooke Muir (FADV Executive Director)

At seventeen, he insisted we get married. I didn’t want to, but there I was, crying, at the courthouse saying, “I do.” By eighteen, I received my GED and gave birth to a healthy baby. Four years later, our relationship got worse.

He began an inappropriate relationship with an unwilling fifteen year old he’d met at work. When I confronted him about it, he physically attacked me. Later, I found out that he had sexually assaulted this innocent girl.

A year later, I was forced to endure his un-welcomed sexual advances and ended up pregnant with my third child, all while his abusive behavior escalated. He was drinking heavily and would get upset about everything. I felt scared and alone. I wanted out. I began an emotional relationship with another man, but my abuser found out and physically assaulted me.

Eventually, we “worked” things out, but I wasn’t happy. After ten years together, I told him I wanted to separate. He didn’t take it well, but I convinced him to leave. ​

He would drive by my work yelling obscenities at me. He followed me when I’d give rides to co-workers. He’d drive by my house – watching me. Once, while he watched the kids at my house, he found some muddy footprints on the floor and accused me of being with someone, then he assaulted me. I couldn’t hardly sleep for fear of where he was at or what he might do.

That summer, my kids went to stay at their grandma’s. Not wanting to be alone, I stayed with friends. Whenever we’d go out, he was there – watching me. Finally, I was fed up and went to stay with my parents, but the controlling didn’t end. He threatened to tell the authorities that I had kidnapped my kids. Not having anywhere else to go, I went back, but his drinking and mental abuse only continued. Eventually, with help, the kids and I moved out. Then, I was awarded a Restraining Order, which he violated several times. Though it was hard, I reported him to the authorities.

Finally, our divorce was granted but with shared custody. He disappeared for three months, then he came back around asking to have the kids. I found out that he was living in a van and addicted to meth. Fearing for my kids’ safety I sought, and won, full custody.

Things got worse for my Ex. He was getting desperate, and his illegal activities caught up with him.  The police found him with a gun, machete, and rubber boots. I couldn’t help but feel it was all meant for me. He was sentenced to ten years in prison.

*Name changed for privacy and protection
​Story edited by Kelly Longmore

My [then] partner of five years was an Army Reservist. During our relationship, he was stationed in Kuwait for eleven months. After he came back he was different. He would disappear for hours, wouldn’t answer my calls, and I learned he might be cheating on me. Eight months later, he ended our relationship. Then, things took a turn for the worst.

He started obsessively texting and emailing me, insisted I meet him to get my belongings, then, suddenly, was convinced we had to get married. Several people tried to talk him out of it, including my parents. Mutual friends talked him into meeting with a counselor. The counselor then asked to meet with me privately. My Ex showed up uninvited to this counseling session —then he was told to stop contacting me. He didn’t.

A couple weeks later, he showed up at my apartment during a snowstorm to talk. I let him in. I explained that it was over, he needed to move on – leave me alone. I felt like this would be the end of it. ​

Many people questioned why I was taking him to court and warned me of the implications this would have for him, or how he was just in love with me. They didn’t realize what stalking can turn into – how it can turn deadly. I truly believe that had the lock on my door not held that night, I might not be here today.  ​

*Name changed for privacy and protection
​Story edited by Kelly Longmore

Victims need to know that they are not alone, that someone will always care. If you’re a victim, I want you to know that it is not your fault! There is help, hope, and healing. I want to put an end to all this—let’s stand strong together and speak up to end Domestic Violence. ​

Story edited by Kelly Longmore

*Name changed for privacy and protection
Story edited by Kelly Longmore